God, why it's hurt?

For everytime my husband ask me for forgiveness, I can't deny my self from being hurt.

Too hurt. Too deep. Then I hate my self for it.

For everytime my husband said : "Is there no chance for me to change?", my heart whispered "You have, but you kill me inside."

Am I wrong, Lord?
Why I have to face this?
Am I not worth for a man who really love me?

I can't handle it anymore..I already try..