God, why it's hurt?

For everytime my husband ask me for forgiveness, I can't deny my self from being hurt.

Too hurt. Too deep. Then I hate my self for it.

For everytime my husband said : "Is there no chance for me to change?", my heart whispered "You have, but you kill me inside."

Am I wrong, Lord?
Why I have to face this?
Am I not worth for a man who really love me?

I can't handle it anymore..I already try..

Thought

That man said that her wife is best thing he ever had.

She is the luckiest wife ever.

Untuk Irene (2)

"Aku mau pelihara burung pipit, ma."

"Ngga, sayang. Kita buat sarang diluar, tapi bukan sangkar."

"Kenapa?" Irene memelas, matanya memohon.

"Kalau kita sayang, biarkan dia terbang bebas. Cintai suaranya. Beri makan. Pasti dia balik lagi."

"Tapi aku mau liat tiap hari."

"Biarkan dia bebas, dia pasti kesini lagi kalau Irene selalu kasih makan. Biar dia datang karena dia mau, bukan karena kemauan kita, kepuasan kita, nanti dia sedih."


PS : Nak, cinta juga begitu. Ada saatnya ingin melepaskan. Dan dilepaskan. Karena keterpaksaan memang mempertahankan, namun tidak datang bersama kebahagiaan.